Sample this Contrasting data:
Indian men feel, sharing household chores
makes men and women equal partners at home*
Indian men believe sharing of household
work is important for a happy marriage*
Married Indian women feel that if their husbands help with household chores, they will get more time with them*
( You may chose to relate with whichever one you want)
So what do we derive from the above statistics? Indian Men believe in sharing load of house-hold chores…but how many actually do it? If they did, how does it help?
This topic has lot of emotional attachment for me as it takes me down memory lane …cut to early seventies when I witnessed my mother struggling complete house-hold chores alone. Juggling life with busy / working husband, two kids, no gadgets to boot and demanding in-laws, life was near hell. To make it worse, she never complained and took it happily on her. At that age, I never understood all that and it was imbibed in my mind that Men are made to work in office and Women are made to slog at home. My father would come home from office, hot tea would be served to him who enjoyed it over reading the News what ever was left in the morning newspaper, go to club for a game, come home, have shower and enjoy hearty night meal. Now was time for news on Radio, followed by Hawa Mahal and off to sleep. Whatever went in-between during the day was none of his concern. He was doing great service by earning and fending for all of us…
…I had grown up with this scenario till the time my father was alive! No body cared a dime about my mother who had to take it all on her cooking, laundry, cleaning, grocery, schools, studies, guests…outings what not. I did not know the men around me who helped women with their house-hold chores. Such men were just unacceptable to my psyche. How do you tell men of the house to do the laundry or cook a meal for ladies of the house? But yes, some times my heart revolted, why we should as women go through this grind all the time. It was then I decided to be working women so that my life would be like my father’s. (Child’s wishful thinking).
But times changed with women taking centre stage in all aspects of life, men of 60s needed to change too, and they did change. We started witnessing gradual transformation happening in the social fabric which was laying the roadmap of happier (read: acceptable) married life.
Mother’s took initiative by training their sons for house-hold chores who were “Sikandars” from generations so that when they got married, they were cool about “Helping” wives in the kitchen with the “Laundry”.
Now the story of my generation…I grew up to be a working professional, a self-confessed “Workaholic” for whom working in the Kitchen did not make much sense. Hence I was labelled “Unsuitable” marriage material. But as the destiny would have it, I too got married to a person who was “Cool” about my Cold kitchen sojourns.
For the first time, I was with a man who was comfortable helping me with the Kitchen, Laundry…what not so that I could concentrate on my career and some other better things in life. As a conventional Indian girl, it pricked my senses, many a times, seeing husband sharing responsibility of house – hold chores, but I could not help much. Moreover, sometimes I thought that what would my relatives say if they come to know that my husband helps me with laundry?
But times changes and I started witnessing many more husbands, brothers, sons helping wives, sisters and mothers in their domain (???). Indeed, our life is very different from our mothers. We have better time management so that we are able to devote good amount of time with children, their activities, socialising, Social Mediazing, Outings, Reading, Travelling, Writing, Blogging…what not. Life has become simpler! The biggest technological help has come in the form of “Washing Machine” which has taken away load of laundry & indeed a pleasure as it is under management of husband. This way I am substantially off that department. Most importantly, the sharing of load has made me happier & healthier person.
My heart goes out to my mother today, who is facing so many health issues and many could be attributed to taking exertion at the time when her body needed rest. Things changed for me, I hope things change even for the better for our future generation. The change may be attributed to MNC players in the field of detergents who portrayed women as modern & independent and men as equal load sharers. ( Read: Ariel Ads: Is Laundry only a woman’s job).
Home Makers or Career Women, Ladies you rock! Provided you know How to!